Yahweh, the Faithful One, says, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). And Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).
The commandments have to do with our relationships. This commandment isn’t simply about “lust,” it is about the violation of the marital union. When Jesus talks about adultery in terms of lust, he is showing that adultery is something you can commit in your heart, whether or not it would be visibly recognizable as adultery to an external observer of your life. You can violate your marriage without anyone knowing but God. A single person commits adultery by violating someone else’s marriage, even if it’s just with a look. True, biblical, faithful love is more than the keeping up of appearances—it’s the whole, committed devotion of one’s entire being, all the way down.
Marriage was instituted by God at the creation of the world before the world was broken through human rebellion against God. God intended marriage to be a loving, faithful, monogamous, lifelong union between one man and one woman. Marriage means complete, intimate, mutual belonging (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). The marriage relationship is meant to reflect the image of God as the one whose delighted love for the other brings forth new life. There is something of God’s own creative Spirit of love in each marital union (Malachi 2:15). The marital union surpasses all other earthly relationships in importance, to the point of reordering other relationships, even those with family members (Genesis 2:24).
Marriage also reflects the relationship between God and his people, being one of the most common pictures for that relationship throughout the Scriptures. In Paul’s famous passage addressing husbands and wives in their marital union, he says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32; see also the Song of Songs). Christ is the faithful bridegroom (Luke 5:34; John 3:29); his people have been the faithless bride (Hosea 1:2; Malachi 2:11).
With such a vision of marriage, adultery is the most severe betrayal possible in the world. It is the rejection of the most intimate love, the rejection of the Spirit of union. Not being filled by God, the adulterer says, “I will not give myself to you, my spouse, I will look to fulfill my desires apart from you, and that is more important to me than you or our relationship.” Ultimately, adultery is faithlessness to God himself, in direct opposition to the love for which we were created. Thankfully, Jesus has been the devoted bridegroom, filled with the Spirit of love, giving himself utterly to his people in order to forgive our faithlessness and renew us.
Have you experienced the joy of union with Christ? Why do you think God describes his relationship with his people in terms of a marriage? Why do you think God describes the sin of his people in terms of adultery committed against him? Have you been aware of breaking this commandment? If you are married, have you confessed your adultery to your spouse? Why or why not? What resources or strategies do you employ to try to stop breaking this commandment? How does the Bible talk about sanctification in ways that would help adulterers? Would you counsel someone who has been betrayed by an adulterous spouse to remain in the marriage? Why or why not?
