“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
We are reluctant to acknowledge our own sinfulness. Sin hides itself from scrutiny. This is a feature of our sin; in our self-centeredness, we will not allow ourselves to know how bad we really are. Being truly honest with ourselves is a tremendous challenge. We imagine it would ruin us to confess our sins. We imagine that we would suffer rejection from God and others, that it would be unbearable to live with ourselves. So we erect barriers to real self-knowledge. (It fascinates me that I am so internally divided that I can effectively deceive myself and not be aware of doing so.) We live in denial. We create illusions of self-righteousness (hypocrisy). We keep others at a distance to avoid confrontation with our own sinfulness. This resistance to self-knowledge infects all our lives and relationships.
The Gospel dismantles our fears, enabling us to truly examine ourselves, to confess our sins. When God’s grace to you in Christ begins to saturate your thinking, granting you the assurance of his love in spite of your sin, then you can let down your guard and take an honest look inside. The main purpose of this self-awareness is not so much that you can change what you find there, fixing yourself through a better self-diagnostic. Rather, the purpose is so that you can further rely on God’s grace in Christ for real forgiveness and transformation. An accurate self-diagnosis should lead you to the true remedy for your ailment: Jesus Christ for life. Taking an honest look at yourself should lead you to look away from yourself and to fix your eyes on Christ. It’s only the assurance that this whole process is really good for you that liberates you to engage in it.
This is the key to counseling with the Gospel, “log-and-speck counseling.” It is only people who have done the hard work of applying the Gospel to their own internal struggles, who have been honest with themselves in light of God’s grace, who have found liberation and hope and peace in Jesus Christ who can help others to do the same. Hypocrites who remain resistant to self-knowledge can’t help people with the Gospel, because they haven’t yet let the Gospel do its work in their lives. But once you deal with the log in your own eye, you really can help others with the specks in their eyes. Notice that the result of addressing your own problems first is not that you just stop picking on others for their problems, but that you gain the true ability to help them with their problems. Loving others in a non-judgmental way doesn’t mean leaving others alone, it means graciously addressing their faults, trying to help them change, caring about what you see is wrong with them because you’ve seen the same thing in yourself.
This is not just the way to prepare yourself to be in a position to help others, it also suggests a method or tactic for doing so. Notice that the person you are helping is your brother, sharing your nature. And notice that logs and specks are made of the same material: wood. Gospel counseling is empathetic and confessional. This approach is gracious, not condemning, because you begin with your own humble confession rather than from a place of superiority. I understand this person’s problem because I am just like this person, and I have the same kind of problem. Jesus helps me with my problem, so I know he can help this person. This person is probably unwilling even to admit the problem, unwilling to do honest self-evaluation, just like I am before I’m convinced of God’s love for me in Christ. This person needs the freedom of the Gospel, just like I do. I can actually demonstrate Gospel freedom by confessing my own faults, which are of the same nature as this person’s faults. This freedom to admit things about ourselves that we’re all prone to hide from ourselves is startlingly powerful. To confess your sins from a place of joyful peace in Christ, rather than with despair, is something that helps others to taste and see that the Lord is good, and to turn to him for life.
